Living my best academic life: 2018 resolutions for getting that PhD done

I didn’t feel very optimistic going into 2017. I had recently lost my father and grandfather in the same week, and I was feeling anxious and depressed about what seemed like a pretty disastrous outcome to the 2016 elections. I don’t think I made any resolutions that year because I was so disheartened by the whole situation that I figured, who cares? My focus in 2017 was basically, do what it takes to get through it, eat some good food and drink some good wine because possibly the world will end pretty soon, etc.

But I feel different going into 2018, more motivated and invigorated. Yeah, 2017 was pretty shitty in some ways, but there were also some good things about it, actually some really great things! I know it’s very silly, but it also feels like there’s something to wiping the slate clean and starting over. At this point, I’ve worked out 100% of the days in 2018! I’ve eaten healthy, and put my shoes away and all those other things I aim to do EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THIS YEAR.

More importantly to my motivation, there’s a chance that this year could be when I finish my PhD, if I can manage to do my dissertation work in three semesters (i.e. 12 months). Maybe this is a ridiculous goal, but I’m kind of a ridiculous person, and it sure would be nice to finish. To that end, I’m deciding to make the goal for this year to live my best academic life. What does that mean?

  • read (something academic, that is) every day. My former advisor, who I still keep in touch with on Twitter, very usefully recommended #365papers – i.e. read a scholarly paper every day of the year. I probably need to read around that much for my dissertation anyway, and I do also have a huge backlog of interesting articles I’ve filed away to read “one day.” So far I’m one down, 364 to go! (But again, I’ve read an academic paper 100% of the days this year)
  • write every day. It doesn’t have to be a lot. A blog post (this counts for today!), a bit of a paper, part of my dissertation, something for work, even an academic related tweet. I know that doing a dissertation will involve way more writing than I’d been doing for the other parts of my PhD work, so I want to get into the habit now.
  • keep working on open science. I’m finally getting to the point in my coding skills that I don’t feel horrendously embarrassed for other people to see my code, but I still often think, eh, who’s going to want to see this? That’s totally the wrong idea, especially for someone whose scholarly research focuses on data sharing and reuse! I’m going to try to make a lot more commits to GitHub, even if it’s just silly stuff that I’m working on for my own entertainment, because who knows how someone else might find it useful.

So there you go! I’ll be tweeting out the papers I read on my Twitter account (@lisafederer) using #365papers, putting stuff up on my GitHub account, and I’ll probably (hopefully?) be writing more here, so watch this space!

A Method to the Madness: Choosing a Dissertation Methodology (#Quant4Life)

Somehow, shockingly, I’ve arrived at the point where I’m just a few mere months from finishing my coursework for my doctoral program (okay, 50 days, but who’s counting?), which means that next semester, I get down to the business of starting my dissertation. One of the interesting things about being in a highly interdisciplinary program like mine is that your dissertation research can be a lot of things.  It can be qualitative, it can be quantitative. It can be rigorously scientific and data-driven or it can be squishy and social science-y (perhaps I’m betraying some of my biases here in these descriptions).

If it weren’t enough that I had so many endless options available to me, this semester I’m taking two classes that couldn’t be more different in terms of methodology.  One is a data collection class from the Survey Methodology department.  We complete homework assignments in which we calculate response and cooperation rates for surveys, determining disposition for 20 different categories of response/non-response/deferral, and deciding which response and cooperation rate formula is most appropriate for this sample.  My other class is a qualitative methods class in the communications department.  On the first day of that class, I uncomfortably took down the notes “qual methods: implies multiple truths, not one TRUTH – people have different meaning.”

I count myself lucky to be in a discipline in which I have so many methodological tools in my belt, rather than rely on one method to answer all my questions.  But then again, how do I choose which tool to pull out of the belt when faced with a problem, like having to write a dissertation?

I came into my doctoral program with a pretty clear idea of the problem I wanted to address – assessing the value of shared data and somehow quantifying reuse. I envisioned my solution involving some sort of machine learning algorithm that would try to predict usefulness of datasets (because HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE?).  Then, halfway through the program, my awesome advisor moved to a new university, and I moved to a new advisor who was equally awesome but seemed to have much more of a qualitative approach.  I got very excited about these methods, which were really new to me, and started applying them to a new problem that was also very close to my heart – scientific hackathons, which I’ve been closely involved with for several years.  This kind of approach would necessitate an almost entirely qualitative approach – I’d be doing ethnographic observation, in-depth interviews, and so on.

So now, here I find myself 50 days away from the big choice. What’s my dissertation topic?  The thing I like to keep in mind is that this doesn’t necessarily mean ALL that much in the long run.  This isn’t the sum of my life’s work.  It’s one of many large research projects I’ll undertake.  Still, I want it to be something that’s meaningful and worthwhile and personally rewarding.  And perhaps most importantly of all, I want to use a methodology that makes me feel comfortable.  Do I want to talk to people about their truth?  I’ve learned some unexpected things using those methodologies and I’m glad I’ve learned something about how to do that kind of research, but in the end, I don’t think I want to be a qual researcher.  I want numbers, data, hard facts.

I guess I really knew this was what I would end up deciding in the second or third week of my qual methods class.  The professor asked a question about how one might interpret some type of qualitative data, and I answered with a response along the lines of “well, you could verify the responses by cross-checking against existing, verified datasets of a similar population.”  She gave me a very odd look, and paused, seemingly uncertain how to respond to this strange alien in her class, and then responded, “You ARE very quantitative, aren’t you?”

#Quant4Life

Some real talk from a very tired PhD student

This post is going to be different from what I normally write.  It’s going to seem a little bleak for awhile, but stick with me, because it’s going to have a happy ending.

You know the way that some girls dream of their wedding day for their whole lives? That’s kind of like me, but instead of with getting married, it was with getting my PhD (I know, I was a weird kid). Starting almost 15 years ago when I was an adjunct professor, and to this day, people will sometimes send me emails that begin “Dear Dr. Federer,” and I think, not yet, but one day.

Eventually that day did come, and I got into this PhD program, working on a topic I’m really fascinated by and I think is pretty timely and relevant.  It was great.  There was the one little catch that I also had a full-time job that I love and a lease on an apartment that was well beyond grad student means, but I’m a pretty motivated person and I figured I could handle working full-time and doing the PhD program part-time.

This plan went fine the first semester.  So fine that I figured, well, why not just go ahead and do a third class in the spring?  Being a full-time PhD student with a high-pressure, full-time job?  Sure!  WHY NOT.  The semester is halfway through now, and I’m not dead yet. So this weekend, when I was looking at the PhD student handbook and I realized that after this semester, I’ll need just 4 more classes to complete my coursework, a cockamamie plan popped into my head.  I had this little conversation with myself:

evil Lisa: what if you did all four classes over the summer?
regular Lisa: I don’t know, while working full-time? That sounds like a bit much.
evil Lisa: but then once you’re done you could advance to candidacy.  Maybe you could finish the whole thing in two years!  I bet no one has ever even done that!
regular Lisa: but this sounds like torture
evil Lisa: why don’t you at least check the summer schedule and see if there are any interesting courses?regular Lisa: hmm, well, some of these do look pretty good.  And they’re online.  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
evil Lisa: REGISTER FOR THEM.

And I did.

To my credit, a part of me knew this plan was not my greatest idea, so today, when I had a meeting with a potential new advisor, since my advisor is leaving for a new position, I said, “I had this idea, but I think it might be a little crazy,” and I told her and she looked at me very patiently, the way you look at a person who has lost all touch with reality and said, “yes, that’s crazy.”

After that conversation, I came back to the graduate student lounge to wait for my class to start, and I looked at the draft of a paper I’m working on, I looked at my slides for a presentation I’m giving in class this afternoon, I looked at my Outlook calendar for work, and I hated all of it.  The presentation looked like garbage and the paper seemed to be going nowhere.  I’d spent hours working on this paper, and it really had seemed like an interesting idea at the time, but now it seemed like a completely pointless waste of time.  The more I thought about data sharing and reuse, the more I hated it.

How could this be?  I love data!  I could talk about data all day!  How could it be that I suddenly hated data?  That was when I realized that I’ve been going about this all wrong and my ridiculous approach was actually ruining the entire experience.  It’s like if you love ice cream and you have a gallon and you try to jut devour the entire thing in one sitting.  Of course it would be a horrible experience.  You’d be sick and you’d hate yourself, and you’d definitely hate ice cream.  On the other hand, if you had a little bit of the ice cream over several days, you’d enjoy it a lot more.

I have this instinct from my days of long-distance running: when I’m many miles in and tired, and I want to slow down, that’s when I push myself to run even faster.  The slower I run, the longer it’ll take me to finish, but if I just run as hard as I can, the run will be over sooner.  I’m not sure about the validity of this approach from a distance running perspective, but I think it’s fair to say it’s a completely stupid idea when it comes to a PhD.

People warned me when I started this program that everyone gets burned out at some point, and I thought, not me, I love my topic, there’s no way I could ever get tired of it.  That’s why it was especially confusing when I sat there looking at my paper draft yesterday and just hating the guts out of data sharing and reuse.  Fortunately, I don’t hate data.  I hate torturing myself.

So, that’s why I’m not going to!  Could I take four courses over the summer?  I suppose.  Could I finish a PhD in two years while working full-time? I guess it’s possible.  But what would be the point, if I emerged from the process angry and tired and hating data?  Time to slow down and enjoy the ride, and de-register for at least two of those summer classes.